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Catharsis and Pain in Mediocrity

by The Early Years

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1.
You're not my fool Called it off, broke our rules I wish you hadn't left when I told you to stay I wish I hadn't left when you got in my way You're right, I'm not wrong "Do you feel safe?" Told me "no." I'm back, but not here You needing what I left in my withdraw I wish you hadn't left when I told you to stay I wish I hadn't left when you got in my way I'm right, you're not wrong "Do you feel hurt?" Told you "no." I lied, to let it go What I tried to say left me unknown
2.
All of my intentions are lost on your arguments Fruition, a wolf's sheep skin You followed an empty purpose It led you away from Home again, if words are right All things gold break Honestly just let it Lose yourself through this In all we tried to omit It's hard to face the truth we found We've been scared to know this All things gold break Honestly, to prove it Remember our start to these fragments
3.
I am not tired or broken I am fine mentally I am composed, self assured of perceived reality Our worlds seem so damn real when you create their meaning I am undone only in part I have begun my works of plastic art I could not find the consequence of what effect I leave I am afraid, once they're done, moments mean nothing My words seem weightless and deterred from creating meaning I am undone only in part I have begun my works of plastic art
4.
You caught me in a stare only deer have for the hunter Blank brown eyes, I am waiting here For the shot to be ringing in my ears 'Cause you can have me Take me with you Yeah you can have me I fell for you like earthquakes return buildings to sand And these airplanes crashing that change all passengers plans Scared faces and dangling oxygen masks To their graves they say You can have me Yeah you can have me Take me with me Yeah you can have me
5.
I arrive alone seeking shelter for the darkness settles down All at once the sliding doors become my home At last I've found is a mark to hit Accepting self as enough Wake up now Wake up now Wake up now Wake up now Call, right time I will be home 'cause there is nowhere else to go You might get bored with waiting I'm just insecure with my accomplishments Succeeding is easy when you don't fulfill your dreams Wake up now Wake up now Wake up now Wake up now
6.
06. Alright 03:11
Alright, I'm not there You're right, I'm just scared To face this on my own Alright, I'm not there You're right, I'm just scared To know this ain't the same Whenever I called you, you said you weren't wishing Whenever I heard your voice, I heard you wishing You're right, I'm just scared Alright, I'm not there You're right, I'm just scared
7.
My hands held the knife, would cut someone and repair And all of my crimes that I had not intended Will stay, will scar Will cut someone and repair And I can't, I can't just let it go This handle mold is true So when you're lying out between the dark and what we know What we know I try to let the dark be the light that I follow I follow When you find that fists are closed hands that I could still hold Out to you, so I could show This is a side of me My hands threw the rope Would keep your head above water It twisted, it tied Around your neck, Elizabeth's Collar I feel I am condemned for what my heart would naturally do So if these rope threads start to feel like home Will you let them go? Will you let me go? I know my grasp can feel like a threat or a refuge hold You never know When the red lines blacken on skin left raw and exposed It's proof to me we held on close And let go control

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released November 20, 2019

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The Early Years Portland, Oregon

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